Ashlyn Reed
Citizen
Kinley Jeremiah && Quinn Emmalee
Posts: 20
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Post by Ashlyn Reed on Dec 23, 2008 18:11:50 GMT -5
Ashlyn woke up fairly early in the morning. The baby had woken her four times during the night so she had gotten up at four and decided not to sleep again. She knew that the baby would wake her again. So she got up, went into the bathroom and came back out with the fresh taste of mouthwash in her mouth. She came over to the bed and crawled back in. She turned over to face her boyfriend was sleeping soundly next to her, his body facing her. She admired him and his peaceful face as he slept.
She had never meant to scare him into staying with her for the baby but she knew that if she hadn't, the baby would more than likely not be inside of her right now. She felt a small kick and smiled as she thought about having a baby with her perfect Riley. She loved him with everything she was and even without a ring on her finger she knew that they were going to last, no matter how afraid Riley was that he wasn't going to be a good dad.
It was Sunday morning and the couple had nothing planned for the day, which was a relief for Ashlyn. It seemed that for the past month or so things were hectic, between the planning for the baby and Ashlyn having to take off time from work and Riley trying to pay for everything, life was just a tad bit too much. But today, Ashlyn planned on staying in her pajamas for the entire day and just relaxing with Riley.
[click for pajamas]
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Post by Riley Adams on Dec 23, 2008 20:03:10 GMT -5
Riley was so exhausted from working late last night, that he wanted to sleep a little later than he had been the last couple of days. Although, when he felt Ashlyn get out of bed and then back into it, he couldn't just roll over and fall back asleep, but he did keep his eyes closed. He tried not to give into the fact that he really was awake, so he continued to keep them closed as he began to speak to his girlfriend, "What's got you up so early?" he questioned. He then felt like an idiot, because she had answered this question a zillion and four times with something along the line of the baby keeping her awake. Ah yes, the fact that fatherhood was now upon him scared the freakin' living hell out of him.
Knowing that he wasn't really ready to be a dad, nor that he really wanted to be a dad, Riley knew that he was only with Ashlyn now that she was pregnant, was because he loved her. He truly did love her and if staying with her while she had his kid meant that he had to grow up a bit, then he was going to at least give it a good try. Riley knew that fatherhood was even closer to becoming a reality now, because Ash was at the very end of the pregnancy and the baby could come anytime now until the end of the next two or three weeks. He was going to have to get rid of his late night partying after work so that he could come home and be with Ash and the baby was the little one had arrived. The pair still hadn't thought up a name, but there was really no rush to it. Riley himself didn't have a name until he was just about to leave the hospital, four days after he was born.
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Ashlyn Reed
Citizen
Kinley Jeremiah && Quinn Emmalee
Posts: 20
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Post by Ashlyn Reed on Dec 23, 2008 20:22:49 GMT -5
Ash put her hand to her stomach and started to rub gently after the baby kicked. It was starting to get sore. It seemed that baby knew when Ash was near Riley because the kicks would be harder than normal. Ash thought it was cute and annoying at the same time. Only a few more weeks of putting up with this before they could finally hold their little bundle of joy.
Ash simply smiled when Riley started to speak to her even though his eyes were closed. She knew he wasn't sleeping by the way that he had moved when she first got up. She placed her hand that wasn't on her stomach onto the side of his head and started to push his hair back gently. She loved his hair and loved to play with it. She knew that he would keep his eyes closed for a little more so she leaned down the best she could with her large stomach and kissed his forehead before sitting back up and continuing to play with his hair. "Just figured I would get up and go pee five times since I fell asleep," she said sarcastically with a light laugh. She knew he didn't mean to forget about the baby. He had been out all night and was obviously tired.
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Post by Riley Adams on Dec 23, 2008 20:47:07 GMT -5
Smiling, but still not opening both of his eyes yet, Riley felt Ashlyn's hand in his hair, pushing it back slightly. He squinted one eye open slightly and saw the gorgeous face of his girlfriend staring back at him. He loved waking up every morning and seeing her face, although he knew soon enough, he would be waking up to see her face because he had to. He liked waking up on his own and seeing her face, he wasn't looking forward to having to wake up because of a baby crying through the night. Riley worried a lot about how he was going to survive when the baby finally arrived, because he worked nights and Ashlyn would be home alone with the baby at night which he didn't like. Hell, before the baby had even been conceived, Riley didn't like leaving Ashlyn home by herself at night.
Riley let Ashlyn push his hair back with her hand for a little while, until he finally opened his eyes up completely and moved his left hand to the one playing with his hair and entwined their fingers together. "I love you," he said to her, bringing her hand to his lips so that he could kiss it. "And if I could get up and pee for you so you didn't have to, I would, you know that," Riley said to her. Riley then turned onto his right side and just looked over at his girlfriend and smiled. Maybe he was crazy for sticking around when their was news of a baby, but he knew that this was the better thing to do then to just walk out like he had thought about doing in the beginning.
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Ashlyn Reed
Citizen
Kinley Jeremiah && Quinn Emmalee
Posts: 20
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Post by Ashlyn Reed on Dec 23, 2008 21:11:30 GMT -5
Ash smiled sweetly as he took her hand and kissed it softly. She heard him say I love you and she felt those old butterflies kick in. "I love you more," she said as she heard him talk again. She let out a soft laugh after he was done saying that he would take her place. "You really wouldn't hun. It's fine. Only a few more weeks," she reminded him as she scooted her body down the bed so that she was lying next to him instead of sitting up next to him.
Her body faced his and with her stomach, there was no possible way of them getting any closer than they were just then. She placed her stomach up against just as the baby went to kick. "The little one knows who daddy is," she told him with a smile as she gently played with her hand that he was holding. She absolutely adored Riley and would do anything for him. She didn't want him to ever leave her and she thought that when she scared him, it was only because she was frightened out of her mind.
She looked to Riley and moved her face forward so that she was just able to kiss his lips gently. It was an awkward position so she pulled away from the kiss slowly so that it left a lingering effect on both of their lips. She opened her eyes and simply looked at him.
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Post by Riley Adams on Dec 23, 2008 21:27:18 GMT -5
Honestly, Riley wished that it was still just him and Ash, because he didn't want to share her or have to grow up just yet. He wanted to wait a few more years so that he would have time to be a kid at times still and enjoy going out and having fun. Now with the baby coming, he knew that all of that needed to change big time now and that he wasn't going to have time to go out anymore. "Okay, so maybe I wouldn't really switch with you, but can you blame me? I don't want to have to pop out a kid from my body," he said to her, still a bit wigged out with the fact that Ashlyn's body was going to can it's shape a bit so that she could give birth.
When Ashlyn moved over closer to Riley, he was a little hesitant at first, because he didn't really like having a baby in the middle of the two of them. It had been Riley and Ashlyn for so many years and now they had to change all of that. When he felt the baby kick against his stomach, Riley freaked, especially after Ashlyn's comment about who the baby knew was daddy. "I don't wanna be daddy yet," he said to her out loud. As soon as he said that, Riley wished that he was capable of being able to grab his words and make Ash forget that he had just said them, but he knew that he couldn't do that and that the damage had been done already. This was going to start the beginning of a wonderful weekend, which would probably start a fight between them, so make an even bigger fight erupt by the weekend's end.
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Ashlyn Reed
Citizen
Kinley Jeremiah && Quinn Emmalee
Posts: 20
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Post by Ashlyn Reed on Dec 23, 2008 21:35:42 GMT -5
Ashlyn watched him freak out when she mentioned him being a daddy. She knew he was scared but it was too late to think about not wanting to be the father. He didn't have a choice in the matter. They didn't have to forget the condom that night. Things were going great that night and by the time they were ready to do it, Ash had told him that she loved him so much that she wanted to forget about the condom. He didn't refuse and here they were eight months later with Ash being pissed and Riley being chicken.
Ash moved and got up off the bed. She walked over to the bedroom window and wrapped her arms around herself. Without turning around to face the bed, she started to talk to him. "You don't want this baby Riley. I know that," she said, more hurt than angry. She hadn't gotten angry much lately. She was afraid to cause stress on the baby. She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before speaking again. "If you don't want this baby then you don't want to be with me. This baby is a part of our life no matter what happens from here on out. If you're too scared to face that and feel that you can't handle it then please, you know where the door is," she said sadly while tears formed as crystals in her eyes and fell down her cheeks.
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Post by Riley Adams on Dec 23, 2008 21:50:59 GMT -5
Rolling his eyes a little bit, Riley sighed. This was going to be a bad fight, he alright knew it, just by the way Ashlyn was getting this sensitive this quickly. "Ash, come on now, you know that I stuck around because I love you. I'm sorry if I'm not ready to have a kid in my life just yet. I liked it better when it was just me and you getting ourselves into trouble and acting our age for awhile. I'm sorry if I'm guilty of wanting to live out a few things in my life before I wanted to start a family, if I had even wanted one," he said to her. Riley then watched Ashlyn get out of bed and go stand by the window. She wrapped her arms in each other and then continued on with her words.
Hearing her next few statements, Riley collected a few of his thoughts before saying something himself, but not before he got out of bed also. "Look, I'm not ready for a kid and you know that. You knew that when you first told me that you were pregnant and you knew how hard it was going to hit me because have a kid right now just isn't a smart thing to do. We don't have the best place in the world, nor all the money in the world. We were skating by when it was just the two of us, what are we supposed to do now when this kid is here Ash?" he asked her. It was more of a rhetorical question than anything, but he wasn't done just yet. "But Ashlyn, if you want me to leave, then tell me. If you don't want me to stay, please, let me know now. If that's what you want to happen Ash, then I'll be out tonight and I'll send you a check every month," he said to her being completely serious.
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Ashlyn Reed
Citizen
Kinley Jeremiah && Quinn Emmalee
Posts: 20
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Post by Ashlyn Reed on Dec 23, 2008 21:59:57 GMT -5
Ashlyn heard his words and heard him get up out of the bed. After he was done talking she finally turned to face him, her arms still wrapped around herself. It was a defensive mechanism she had learned, the whole wrapping her arms around herself. She never wanted Riley to have to protect but it seemed like he was the only one she'd been fighting with. She didn't want to fight with him, both of them knew that. Ashlyn would fight anyone in this world for any reason but not Riley. She absolutely hated fighting with him. It hurt her more than anything to know that they hurt each other so badly with words.
Her tears were hot and rolling down fast as looked to her boyfriend. "You know better than that Riley! You know better than to think I want you to leave me. Why do I think I even considered keeping this baby? I'm only going through this pain and torture so that our bond, our relationship can grow stronger. You don't seem to trust that things will be ten times better with the baby," she said trying to gather what she would say next in her mind. She took another deep breath and sniffled a bit, trying to slow her tears.
"You say you're with me through this for the simple reason that you love me. Ry, I'm willing to sacrifice my life to make a new one. You should be too. Money won't be an issue because I'll apply for government aid. There's not much we can do now except to have this baby and be a family. I thought that having a family was something you wanted but I could be wrong now. Just- just don't make me go through this on my own," she said, starting to feel a bit faint. She walked back over to her edge of the bed and sat down on the edge of the bed.
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Post by Riley Adams on Dec 23, 2008 22:16:12 GMT -5
Now upset in a way all his own, Riley just wanted to walk out and clear his head before either of them said anything more that was wrong to say while they were angry. "Ash, this is stupid. We shouldn't be fighting over this. I'm sorry I've been such a prick lately, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a dad yet. I'm not sure if I can even be a good boyfriend right now anymore. Everything was perfect before this baby came to be. Or at least everything seemed to be perfect before the baby. We could go out and have fun, with no worries about anything. We're not going to be able to do that anymore. And I know that this is going to sound selfish, but I'm not ready to have to share you with anybody else, not even a tiny baby." Riley couldn't help but think that way, because he wasn't sure of himself in being mature or responsible enough to take on the responsibility of raising a kid. What if he seriously messed up this kid and he or she hated him? Then he'd have a kid that hated him and less time to spend alone with his girlfriend. It all just seemed to be a lose-lose situation for Riley currently.
Riley watched as Ashlyn went and sat down on the edge of the bed again, so he went over to her and knelt down in front of her and took her hand in his own. "Look, I love you Ashlyn, you know that. I've told you that a million times and I'll say it ten million more, I love you. I really do love you, but I'm really unsure of having a kid right now. I know that I have to grow up and start acting like an adult rather than a kid from now on, but I want to get rid of the kid in me while I still have the time to. I don't know how long it's going to take me to get rid of that urge to want to go out all the time like we're use to, but I'll try just for you," Riley said. He really would honestly try to give up his kid ways for his girlfriend, because she was worth it. He just didn't know how long that it was going to take him to get there completely, nor if he was ever going to reach that point in his life. It would probably die down a lot more when the baby finally was in his arms and he was able to see that the baby was real and that he did need to break his habits.
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Ashlyn Reed
Citizen
Kinley Jeremiah && Quinn Emmalee
Posts: 20
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Post by Ashlyn Reed on Dec 23, 2008 22:25:01 GMT -5
Ashlyn heard him talk but she was too busy concentrating her breathing to get rid of the faint headache that had appeared. When he came over to her and knelt in front of her, she made her eyes avoid his. She didn't want to deal with this right now. She didn't want to see how much he was promising. She heard him say how much he loved her and she simply listened. She couldn't do much more than listen to him. She heard the last thing he said about trying to change for her. She simply shook her head lightly as more tears fought their way down her cheeks.
"Do you think I enjoy having to give up being young Ry? This isn't exactly what I had pictured at twenty two years old Ry. This isn't what I want either but you know damn well that we can't do anything about it now. You don't realize that no matter what happens, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later. Why can't it be sooner?" she asked as she looked at him and the tears fell harder. "You know I love you with everything that I am but I just don't think that you promising me that you'll try to change is going to help any. You want to live young and be young then maybe for a while you should do just that. Just to get it out of your system or something," she said sniffling before continuing. "I've made sacrifices for you Ry. I moved out of my grandmother's house and left her alone for you. I kept the baby and changed my entire physical and mental body for you. I've done so much for you that you don't even realize it. You want to live your life. I understand that. Just don't penalize the two people in this world that will love your unconditionally through everything.'
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Post by Riley Adams on Dec 23, 2008 22:54:53 GMT -5
Seeing how Ashlyn was avoiding eye contact with him now, really agitated Riley. "Look, I just told you that I was going to try and change for you and the baby, and you're not even going to look me in the eyes when I tell you that?" he said to her. "Ash, if that's how you're going to be and you're not going to understand that I really am going to try, then maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should leave now. Let your grandmother move in here or you move back in with her or something and we'll just go our separate ways," he said in a harsh tone getting off of his knees and walking into the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, he turned around and faced Ashlyn once more, ready to say something. He soon decided against it, which was rather unlike him. Riley normally said anything and everything when he was angry or upset, but like he had promised Ash no more than five minutes ago, he was going to start maturing and stepping up. So Riley let what he was going to say go and instead, sort of slammed the door shut. It wasn't a loud slam, but it was a little louder than a normal closing of the door.
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Ashlyn Reed
Citizen
Kinley Jeremiah && Quinn Emmalee
Posts: 20
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Post by Ashlyn Reed on Dec 23, 2008 23:04:52 GMT -5
Ashlyn watched him get up after what he had said. He was pissed now and it all started when she called him daddy. She knew that he wasn't comfortable, why did she say that? Did she think that maybe this time he would actually like it? How stupid could she be. She felt like such an idiot for starting this whole fight. She let her tears fall down her cheeks as she used the back of her hands and wiped them away as fast as they were falling so that her cheeks weren't smudged with salt and water from her tears.
After she heard the slightly louder thud of the bathroom door closing she immediately broke down. This was it. This was what was going to set them off in their separate ways and it scared Ashlyn shitless. She didn't know if she wanted to just sit there on the bed and cry or get up, be the bigger person and apologize. She knew the latter would be the best choice but right now, the pain from the baby kicking once more caused her to wince in pain. "You better stop that or mommy will be very angry and she doesn't want to be," she said but her mood changed slightly.
"Mommy loves daddy no matter how afraid he is of you and being a father. She would do anything for him and you know that, don't you? Mommy wants to have the perfect life she's dreamed of and if that means it's just you and me baby, so be it." Ashlyn said down to her stomach. She actually loved the feeling of knowing that the human being inside of her loved her no matter what. She placed both hands on her enlarged stomach and rubbed it gently.
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Post by Riley Adams on Dec 23, 2008 23:16:24 GMT -5
As soon as he had closed the door, Riley went over to the counter that the sink was housed in and leaned his hands against the edge of it and held himself up that way, with his head hanging down. He was thinking about things, but everything was going around his head in a really quick circle motion and it seemed as if he hadn't been thinking about absolutely nothing. Getting a little more frustrated, Riley shifted his leg up and pretty much kneed the cabinet located underneath the sink. It stung for a few seconds, but Riley brushed it off and took his shirt off and leaned over to the shower, turning the knobs on and getting the water to the right temperature.
Taking all of his clothes off, Riley then stepped into the shower and stood under the rushing hot water. This is where he got a lot of his thinking done and where he was able to cool down at the same time, even though the water was scorching by now. He loved hot showers though, so to him, this was nothing new. Had he over reacted during his and Ashlyn's fight, yeah, he probably had, but he couldn't change the past now. He would have to step up and be a man even more now, although, he wouldn't really take himself serious until the baby had actually arrived and Riley was holding the tiny baby in his arms.
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Ashlyn Reed
Citizen
Kinley Jeremiah && Quinn Emmalee
Posts: 20
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Post by Ashlyn Reed on Dec 23, 2008 23:33:19 GMT -5
Ashlyn heard the shower start up and knew that it was too late to go in there to see him and apologize. She would have to give him time to cool and think. She knew he needed that. He always did after they fought. Sometimes he would go for a walk but that tended to hurt Ashlyn even more because that would mean that he'd be gone for hours at a time. At least this time around she knew that he was only taking a shower and that it'd only be a few more minutes before she could see him in person again and apologize for trying to rush him into wanting to be a dad.
She couldn't take sitting down any longer. She pushed herself off of the bed carefully and stood up. She felt tingles in her body from nervousness on how Riley was going to be when he came out of the shower. She started to pace the floor back and forth in their bedroom. As she did so, her right hand came up to her hair and started to twirl it as her left hand came up to her mouth and she started to chew on her fingernails. That was her ultimate nervous pose right there. With the pacing, the nail chewing and the hair twirling, Ash was a complete wreck.
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